Genesis
by BecauseIBelieve
Summary: Pike/Kirk, eventual Spock/Kirk. After Pike's death, Jim finds comfort in the arms of his emotionless Vulcan first officer. Slash. Mpreg. Please Review!
1. Ch XX: Introduction

**Genesis  
Ch. XX: Introduction**

It had started with rain.

Once, Jim had liked the rain. It was like purification – the water would come in and wash the slate clean, and he would be able to start fresh tomorrow. The soft whisper of that wind that accompanied it told of love that he yearned to know, security that he craved, but most of all, it told of hope. Hope. Jim cherished that word, had done so since he was a Cadet in the Academy. He had _hoped_ that this blissful new life he had found would last, but…

Jim stared down at the tombstone, mesmerized by the off-white color of the stone. He still didn't understand how it could have become so bad, so fast. First, the _Enterprise_ had received a distress call from none other than Captain Pike. The next, he was dead. Tortured to death on a Romulan war craft, which shouldn't have even occurred because Pike was the best and loved Jim too much to just _leave_ him like that. It didn't make sense.

Everyone had formed their own ideas about what kind of information they had wanted out of him. Jim distantly remembered that the abstract consensus had been that it was about him. His heart pounded in his chest at a dizzying rate as those words echoed in his head. _It was about you. It was about you._ He had known that that couldn't be true, because what would a Romulan want with him? Now, he knew better than that.

His world and another world, somewhere distant, forever intertwined, were bonded by common people, places, and even events. In this other world, the destruction of Romulan had lead to an irate Nero coming to their world and destroying Vulcan and attempting to kill the commanding crew of the Starship _Enterprise_, but namely Jim's first officer, Mr. Spock. The _Enterprise_ had prevailed, true, but it still felt like a failure.

Jim kneeled before the tombstone, his knees sunk down into the earth, and he cradled his four-year-old in his arms. _She's started to suck on her thumb again_, Jim noted sadly. "Daddy?"

"What is it, Mandy?" Jim sniffled. He had to keep a strong façade for her, because she was young and naïve and didn't yet understand that death was truly an end.

Amanda Pike reached out and touched his tear-streaked face. "Don't be sad, Daddy. When Papa comes back from Heaven, he doesn't want us to be crying. That wouldn't be very nice, would it?"

Jim could barely repress a sob at her words, but he did his best. "No. Guess not, huh?"

Amanda offered him a small smile, before she tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Hey, Daddy?"

"What is it, Mandy?" Jim asked, almost afraid of another question.

"When Papa comes back from Heaven, do you think that he'll play pony with me? Like before he was in the chair?" Amanda inquired, her eyes wide with hope. She didn't understand what she had really asked.

"Yes, sweetie. I'm sure that he will." This time, Jim failed to choke back his sob. It was a horrible, guttural sound and it scared the small child seated on his lap.

"Daddy?" She asked.

"No more questions now, sweetie. Daddy's tired. Why don't we head back home and get ready for bed, huh?"

Amanda looked him over silently, before she nodded. "Okay."

Jim clambered to his feet, feeling the uncomfortable ache in his legs and lower back from maintaining one position for too long. He stretched out, feeling his back crackle with every movement. Reaching out, he touched a hand to the cool tombstone and silently wondered if he had never met Pike, would the man still be alive? But then he dismissed the thought. It was ludicrous, after all. If he had never met Pike, he would have never had Amanda.

And speaking of Amanda, the little child had climbed to her feet as well and was beaming at him through the raindrops. The rain seemed to magnify the wattage of her smile until it beamed like a light tower calling a ship to shore. Jim couldn't bear to look at it for long. Continually, he had to remind himself that she didn't know, didn't understand. But, in the end, that didn't make it any better.

Taking her into his arms, he felt her bury her all-too-human face into the crook of his neck. Human. One day, she would die too. She would die and he would be all alone, because life had never been kind to him and he knew, somehow, that she would die first. Fresh tears welled in his eyes at the idea of it, but he smothered them. Amanda didn't need to see him break down anymore than he already had.

Slowly, carefully, they made their way down the hill and out of the cemetery, casting one last look behind them at the man that had been lost. Burrowing deeper into her father's arms to ward off the chill, Amanda was eventually able to wade off into some form of fitful sleep. Jim carried her into downtown Metro Station, where he paid to have a ticket back to Starfleet HQ. But before he could make it onboard the shuttle, he heard a familiar voice.

"James? James Kirk!" First a question, then dawning realization flooded her voice. James flinched at the almost nasally sound of it. It was cold season, after all.

Jim felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. Only one person still insisted on calling him 'James'. "Hello, Winona." He tried to be civil, but that went out the window when he just couldn't call her 'Mom'.

Winona didn't seem to mind. "I see that you've been out for a day on the town. Getting your daughter soaked to the bone, nonetheless. What kind of father endorses hypothermia?" She hissed.

Jim tried to remind himself that she held no more power over him, but it was hard. "I'm taking her home now."

"By now, it could already be too late. She could be so cold, she can't even shiver to warm herself, and you would be none the wiser because your body temperature isn't much better than hers." Winona chastised.

"I don't want to hear a lecture from you." Jim shot back ruefully.

"Let me take her into the bathroom and dry her off, James." Winona said.

Jim recoiled violently, swinging the child like she was some toy he didn't want to share with his older brother. "No. And if all you have to say is how horrible a father I am, then I'll be on my way."

Winona brushed her blond curls away from her face. "That was not my intention at all."

"Coulda fooled me." Jim chuckled darkly.

"James, I'm actually here to talk to you about Pike. I know you don't want to hear it, but -,"

Before she could finish, the last call from Shuttle Car B back to San Francisco was called. Jim shot his mother one last look, before he decided that he didn't care for anything that she could have said. Knowing her, she would find some way to mutilate all of that man's hard work and make him into some kind of monster that was only out to steal Jim's innocence. Jim knew full-well that it wasn't like that at all.

Winona waited calmly for him to make his decision, but she had not expected him to just walk away. He stepped onto the Shuttle Car and seconds later, before she could follow suit, the doors closed and they were off. Jim wandered inside, picking a seat in the far back that was closed off from the view of fans and spectators. And then, he shifted Amanda on his lap and toyed with her wet blond curls.

"I won't let her take you away from me." Jim swore in a silent, almost reverent voice. Amanda was all that he had left, and his mother was a vindictive bitch who couldn't realize that he just _couldn't_ love her.

Amanda only curled further into his arms and continued to sleep.

"You're mine, baby. We're in this together. And you deserve so much better than a half-assed father like me. But I'll do my best to make sure that you have all that you ever want and need. I swear it." Jim assured her.

Amanda stuck her thumb in her mouth and started to suck. A reversion, Jim reflected ruefully.

"Hush little baby, don't say a word…" Jim sang to her softly. It was well after her bedtime, he would reflect later. Long after it was time for little girls to be off in their dreamlands, as Pike would say.

_Pike_. Jim sniffled as he felt the tears renew themselves. Now that Amanda was unconscious, he didn't feel quite so bad about letting them fall. The truth was, he was weak. He never deserved Pike's love, even though he had had it from the start. That only made him feel ten times worse. But for Amanda, he would carry on. Amanda was now his reason to live. And if someone took _that_ from him, well… it was best not to speculate too heavily on the future.


	2. Ch 01: Return to Delta Vega

**Genesis  
Ch. 01: Return to Delta Vega**

Three days later, the _Enterprise_ took off for her first five-year mission. Jim should have been excited, but he wasn't. In fact, the ideal term to describe his situation would be 'emotionally compromised'. But if the crew noticed, they didn't comment. Most were still thankful to be alive after the Nero incident, and after Jim had ushered them safely through _that_ hailstorm, they believed that they were relatively safe in his hands. Emotionally stable or otherwise.

Now, ten minutes before his shift was set to start, Amanda decided to be sick on his pristine yellow uniform. A mixture of disgust and horror played out on his face as he set the child down on his bed and hurriedly rid himself of the rank uniform. Not having much time, he took out a spare and dressed, before he took a washcloth and scrubbed at Amanda's messy face. The child was feverish and her ivory face was flushed with heat.

Jim cursed under his breath. _This_ was exactly why he had been reluctant to take a three-year-old on a starship. But who could he have left her with? His mother? Not likely. He scooped Amanda up off of the bed, and after making sure that she wouldn't vomit again, he hurriedly carried her down to Sickbay. A gentle _whoosh _of the main doors welcomed him inside, and his eyes were assaulted with an overtly sterile _white_.

"Bones? Bones!" Quickly, Jim was able to locate his friend. He had his PADD in front of him as he reviewed the medical files of the entire crew.

"Damn it, Jim, what is it? Can't you see that I'm busy?" Bones hissed. He threw his PADD down and whirled his chair around to face the Captain and the small child.

"Bones, I need you to watch Amanda for me." Jim forced the words out, even as he realized that he only had three minutes until his shift started. "She's sick and I already lost one shirt and I'll be back for her as soon as my shift is -,"

"Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a babysitter! Sickbay is not a daycare." Bones was about to turn back to his work.

Jim frowned. "C'mon, Bones. Think about it. If she's sick in front of the crew, it could lead to a chain reaction. Then, the entire Bridge crew will be in Sickbay and you'll be inundated with cases of the _flu_."

Bones sighed, knowing that Jim was correct and not wanting to admit it. "Fine."

"Thank you _so_ much! I promise I'll be back for her as soon as my shift is over." Jim handed her over.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say." But Bones had already seated the kid on his lap as he turned around and went back to his work. Secretly, Jim knew that Bones missed his own daughter. This would be good for him, he decided.

Jim checked the time on his PADD, only to find that his shift had started five minutes ago. All of that hard work had been for nil. Well, not exactly. At least he knew that Amanda was somewhere where her needs would be cared for as they arose. And she wouldn't be sick in front of the crew. That was one nasty chain reaction he did _not_ want to witness. He slid his PADD into his back pocket and entered into the Turbo Lift, selecting the Bridge.

A few seconds later, he arrived. Everyone was seated at their respective stations. Jim slid in undetected and collapsed back into his Captain's chair, crossing his legs over one of the arms. When he cleared his throat, Communications Officer, Lt. Nyota Uhura, turned to face him. He had never much liked her and he could tell from the look on her face that the feeling was very much mutual. She uncrossed her long legs, rose out of her chair, and walked over to him.

"Captain, so nice of you to finally join us." There was a hint of malice in her voice that was not undetected, but he let it slide. It would be counterproductive for him to pick a fight with her. "Did you oversleep again?"

Did she honestly think that all he was good for was sleeping around and making more work for the rest of the crew? Yes, actually. "No. Not at all, Lieutenant. Was there a reason you came over here?"

Her mouth drew into a thin line and he hoped that he had hit a nerve. "Yes, sir. I intercepted a distress call from Delta Vega. The call was in Vulcan, sir."

Kirk raised one eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"Quite sure, sir." Uhura answered.

Jim snatched the PADD out of her hand and read over the exact details of the distress call. After Vulcan had been sucked into a black hole, Spock estimated that there were little more than ten-thousand left in existence. This made it hard for him to believe that a colony, or even just one, would choose _Delta Vega_, of all planets, to settle on. In fact, it seemed quite… illogical.

"Do we have any idea how the Vulcans could have made it to Delta Vega? It seems rather illogical to settle on such a… prehistoric planet. Ninety-nine percent of it is still frozen solid." Jim said.

"I'm impressed, Captain. You actually listened in the Academy. Once." Uhura chuckled at her own joke. She didn't realize that Jim had first-hand experience with Delta Vega.

"Mr. Spock." Jim turned to him, not wanting to deal with Uhura anymore. "Any ideas?"

"After Vulcan was sucked into the black hole, few were able to escape. Because they were not expecting an attack, those who did most likely had primitive means of travel. Delta Vega is the farthest they could have gotten."

"And they would be stranded there until the Federation has the means to rescue them?" Jim asked.

Spock stared at him blankly. Finally, he nodded. "Yes, sir. And in an unforgiving climate such as the one on Delta Vega, their chances of survival are below 15.2%."

"Mr. Sulu, set course for Delta Vega. Warp two." Jim leaned back in his chair as he watched Sulu set in the new coordinates and force the ship into warp.

The subtle sounds of the _Enterprise_ seemed to swallow him, and he couldn't help but feel incredibly small within her. It felt like forever since Pike had died, but, in fact, it had only been one week – three days if you wanted to count the days that he was in the ground. His stomach still churned at the memory. He could still see him walk around the Bridge, his back erect with the pride of commanding a brand-new starship. That pride was wonderfully addictive.

Jim sniffled as he felt tears start to rear their ugly little heads. Fuck this. The one time that he felt even the smallest inkling of affection toward someone, and they had been brutally torn from him right when he needed them most. Now, he would be away from Earth for five years and was a single father with a three-year-old daughter. As it turned out, he didn't need the Kobiyashi Maru test to feel fear. All he needed was one adorable three-year-old child.

Not even realizing that Lt. Sulu had drawn into orbit around Delta Vega, Jim was startled out of his silent reverie by a calm, assured hand on his shoulder. He nearly leaped out of his skin and shed it off, for fear that it would burn him. The hand clenched a bit and after a brief surge of pain, he felt a wave of condolence, sympathy, love… it was all fleeting, and by the time he realized it and was able to discern them, the hand vanished.

"Captain." Spock's voice washed over him. Unintentionally, he felt a shiver chase down his spine. A cold sweat broke out on his calloused skin. "We have arrived at Delta Vega. It is time to beam down and assess the situation."

"Of course, Mr. Spock." Jim offered him a weak smile. "Lt. Uhura, call down to Sickbay. I want to have Dr. McCoy beamed down as well. We can assume that the Vulcans are injured, can't we, Spock?"

Spock looked Kirk over. "Undoubtedly, sir."

Jim looked contemplative for a moment. "Maybe we should have Nurse Chapel beamed down as well, with the emergency surgical kit. On second thought, send her down as well, Lieutenant."

Uhura looked them both over. It was like she could see something that Kirk couldn't, but he _did_ know that he didn't like that look on her face. "Whatever you say, Captain."

Jim couldn't take it anymore. "And we'll have a talk about your attitude when I come back."

Uhura blinked, astonished, as if she thought he was too stupid to notice her obvious ill-will toward him. "Excuse me?" She hissed.

"Unless you want me to embarrass you in front of the rest of the crew, I think you heard me just fine."

"You… You can't…" Uhura stuttered off.

But Jim and Spock had already donned their equipment. Jim smirked at her, mouthing that 'Oh yes, yes I can'. And then, that smirk morphing into a smile, he said, "Energize."


End file.
